Not everyone believes in spirituality, not everyone can understand it.
It comes with the surrendering of one's ego and the choice to embark on a lifelong journey of self-discovery.
I can speak from personal experience that I understand what it means to lose yourself, to forget that you’re worth something, that you’re beautiful no matter what, that your heart is allowed to feel, and that you have permission to just be.
“The fundamental thing that happened, and the greatest calamity, is not that there was no love or support. The greater calamity, which was caused by that first calamity, is that you lost the connection to your essence.” — Dr Gabor Maté
Growing up I always felt disconnected, with everything. Disconnected with home, disconnected with school, disconnected with all the people around me, disconnected with myself – and I’m not going to lie, it hurt.
It hurt me everyday – every day that I had to wake myself up and force myself through feelings of nonentity, drag my leaden feet to school, sit through lessons which sounded like white noise, lock myself up in my room, listen to music and sing for hours on end just to quieten the noises inside my head, to soften the clenching inside my chest, to release the chokehold around my throat.
I don’t know how, or why, I managed to survive all the traumatic episodes in my life, how I managed to stop myself from destroying me. It wasn’t a pretty process – Imagine bouts of shouting matches, screaming, crying, and constantly being triggered by little things that would take me back to those feelings that haunted me for so long.
“We are all connected; To each other, biologically. To the earth, chemically. To the rest of the universe atomically.“ — Neil deGrasse Tyson
Spirituality, to me, is a journey of self-discovery. It’s about being human. It’s about living. It’s about recognising the oneness in everything. It’s about finding light in the darkest of nights, joy in the heartbreak, and laughter in the sadness. It’s about witnessing and falling in love with ourselves, and with everything else, every moment of every day.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this post, or why I’m sharing all of this.
I must've been watching too many TED talks and self-help documentaries.
I just hope that all of us find that space within ourselves to just be.
