i want to love there

I just wanted to do a really quick catch-up on where I am in life right now. Seth Godin said to write in my blog every day (which was what he did, too — for 10 years if I'm not mistaken) so I'm going to do that.

It's been a wild ride, but I wish it was more exciting. I'm definitely putting myself out there a lot more, and I feel like I'm most definitely on the right path. However, this whole coronavirus situation is becoming slightly more than annoying because I've been having shoots and work cancelled on me because of it.

I'm definitely a workaholic. I love my work, I love my job, I love being productive and knowing that my day has been well-spent. This pandemic has really been testing my patience and perseverance, but I know that if I manage to stick it out, I'll come out stronger on the other side. That means no giving up this year, no matter what.

I've been hanging out with my friends and family a lot more, just making time for social activities here in Singapore which I didn't use to do as much just because I was constantly either travelling or planning an upcoming travel.

I'm definitely going to make my music (and acting and modelling) a big focus of this year, since now seems like the best time to be proactive in initiating passion projects and laying the foundation of my artistic career that I'll eventually be able to build upon.

Of course, I'm learning a lot about myself as well. How to handle conflict, how to work with difficult people and how to navigate this extremely complex world. Do they call that "adulting?" I'm not a fan, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

I've been making it a point also, to make my intentions clear from the start whether it's with people or companies. It's so easy to miscommunicate, and having to pick up the pieces afterwards is hard, so I'd much rather avoid it from the get-go. I just need to get my thoughts straight before opening my mouth and/or agreeing to anything before carefully thinking through the consequences. "Responsibility," I believe, is what they call it. Being responsible — Which I'm honestly getting much better at!

Emotionally, I feel like I've grown a lot stronger. I listen to Jay Shetty's podcast a lot. It's called "On Purpose" and it's absolutely amazing. If there's any podcast that has the ability to change my life, my mindset and my perspective, it's this one. I highly recommend that everyone go listen to it. He covers topics ranging from relationships to mental health to self-care, spirituality, entrepreneurship, overcoming trauma, past hurts and achieving happiness and success on your own terms. He is absolutely fantastic. I could not recommend this more.

I feel like after a breakup my brain goes into a mode where I start fantasising and romanticising everything that happened, whereas the sane thing to do would be to analyse what went wrong as well. Was it an amicable breakup, or were you hurt? Did you hurt the other person or did the other person hurt you? How, and why? Sure, you might have made amazing memories and you can't discount the fact that, at times, it was beautiful. But was it all beautiful? Were you putting up with things that didn't sit right with you? Were you overlooked? Did you maybe give a lot more that you expected to and hardly got anything back? Love might be a one-way street, but relationships go two ways. If someone's always building a wall in-between the both of you, it wouldn't matter even if there wasn't an ocean separating the both of you, would it? Because there would always be an ocean in the space between the two of you. I can't spend every day breaking down that selfsame wall, only for you to build it up again.

I'm just going to end this with a quote that I love:

Stay safe and stay healthy!

All my love,

Alyssa